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(In case anyone is just joining us, the beginning of this post is here: American Nihilist: Donald Douglas - The Photoshop Saga)
When we last left Dr. Donald Kent Douglas, Ph.D. and James B(ig, bad barebackin' brain rage) Webb (No, I have no clue what the "B" really stands for, if anything at all...), Don was calling James a pussy and crowing about kickin' ass, or something.
JBW responds: Brain Rage: American Power And Unhealthy Obsession. James takes note of Donald's obsession, though I'm of the opinion that it isn't James he's obsessed with, but having the final word, and preferably, being able to claim any kinda victory. After explaining how Donald got to be the way he is--a radioactive neocon spider, of course--James explains that his previous photoshop, which Don took as a threat of physical violence, was just his good old liberal attack hate monkey, Thade. He says (& pay attention, because this bit actually going to become important later on, which in itself should tell you alot):
Seriously though you can relax Don, that's just a picture of my pet liberal-attack-hate-monkey Thade. He says that he'll be happy to meet you for a throwdown anytime anywhere but he has two conditions: 1) Your tussle will have to stay within the bounds of "monkey rules" (I truly have no idea what that means; just pray that there's no flinging of poop involved...) and 2) You must rub bananas all over yourself prior to the fight; apparently it gets him into the mood.
James mentions Don's repeated claims of victory (and finds them as odd & misplaced as I do), and then discusses the truth about his own drinking-while-blogging-while-drinking. (James likes wine... alot. Perhaps more than sleeping, even.) Then James tries (again) to explain how some photoshops of Sarah & Trig can be more offensive than others, saying that the intent of the person creating or posting the picture plays an awful big part. Then it's another try at explaining hypocrisy, and Don's penchant for using "gay" as an insult, and we're off to the races... I can't imagine what could come next...
...or could I...? (No, not really...)
Donald Douglas (predictably) roars back with his post: American Power: Blacks as Monkeys? Even When Leftists Hit Bottom, They Keep Digging. That Don answered; not surprising. What Don answered with; off the friggin' wall.
Don claims that James is a racist, and that this saga has turned JBW into "a purveyor of the most despicable racial slurs." No, really.
Wait.
You didn't see it?
Well, according to Donald Douglas, "Mr. Webb smears me as a monkey "throwing poop." Mr. Webb is referring to his previous Planet of the Apes smackdown Photoshop. I called him out on it earlier. This is an implied threat here, and I'd frankly prefer to hear it to my face. But, instead of retracting his post, Mr. Webb digs even deeper into the hellhole of moral depravity. Now I'm a "poop throwing monkey."
Don's evidence? Remember that paragraph I told you to pay attention to above, where James says:
"Seriously though you can relax Don, that's just a picture of my pet liberal-attack-hate-monkey Thade. He says that he'll be happy to meet you for a throwdown anytime anywhere but he has two conditions: 1) Your tussle will have to stay within the bounds of "monkey rules" (I truly have no idea what that means; just pray that there's no flinging of poop involved...) and 2) You must rub bananas all over yourself prior to the fight; apparently it gets him into the mood."
Apparently, somehow, Donald reads this paragraph, and believes James is saying that Donald is the pooh flingin' monkey!?!! Talk about playing the race card. (For that matter, talk about reading comprehension.) In Donald's mind, James is saying he's a monkey, and because the big DD is half black, this is no different than when the NY Post ran their cartoon: Donald did not discuss this cartoon at the time, but many of those of his ideological bent claimed it was much adieu about nothing, so I'm surprised that Donald now finds it so offensive. He seems to though, because his whole post is based on the ridiculous claim that James said he's a monkey.
I commented at the post asking whether anyone could explain how Donald could manage to squeeze that meaning out of what James wrote (see below), but the only person to reference my comment at all didn't address my questions, but instead wondered why I was stickin' my nose in, in the first place. (More about that, later.) Here was my comment:
"If Donald originally thought James was threatening violence based on that picture, wouldn't James have to've been the monkey, and not Donald, who is clearly pictured on his knees, at the monkey's mercy?
And after James comically explains that the monkey isn't he or Donald, but is instead a third party named Thade, James says that Thade is demanding "monkey" rules" for the throwdown, and that he (James) prays that there is no flinging of poop involved ("in the monkey rules," according to the most elementary understanding of subject/object sentence structure.)
Given all that, where is the part where James says or implies that Dr Douglas is a monkey, or that Donald throws poop (let alone that Donald is a poop throwing monkey?)"
To end the post, Donald again demands an apology, this time for James' "blacks as monkeys slur."
Jesus Sheeples!!!
JBW replies, Brain Rage: Donald Douglas Wants To Kill My Hate Monkey, beginning in his usual over the top humorous way, decrying the obvious threat Dr Donald Douglas made against Thade, the beloved liberal-attack-hate-monkey, but not too far in, the ridiculous, mind-numbing stupidity of the things Donald was accusing James of saying and doing got to be too much for him. I mean, when Donald's real gripes are more outlandish than the ones James could make up, where is there to go?
So rather than continue the comedic onslaught, James ties the "poor me" victimology that Donald has been displaying with the "poor me" victimology of Sarah Palin, where everyone, from small time bloggers to the major media to the folks behind the scenes in the McCain campaign conspired to get her, any way they could. (and yes, as I write this, the news is spreading far and wide of Palin's untimely and odd resignation from the AK Governorship. If they were out to get her, I guess they got her.) Not only did James not say or in any way suggest that Donald was a pooh flinging monkey (or any monkey at all), it was Donald, in his post Attack of the Leftist Hate Monkeys!, who intimated that James was a monkey. Sure, I'm one of those (like Don, apparently) who recognizes that there's a difference between suggesting that a white guy like James (or like Dubya Bush) is a monkey and doing the same to a black person like Donald (or like Obama), so I won't be using that fact to cast aspersions of racist bigotry on the professor. But even so, it's not surprising to see Donald accuse someone else of the very behavior he himself did. And as James points out, it takes a whole lotta bullshit bravado to then demand an apology for that action you accuse others of, but as usual, Donald has a ready supply of that.
And so, James apologizes for Donald being the kind of person he is, and for his treating Donald as a more rational thinking and feeling human being, saying (& read this carefully, because like before, aspects of this quote will soon be important to the story):
"And that's really big of [Dr Donald Douglas] to demand an apology for something I never said and then offer to graciously accept it. But here goes: I'm sorry, Don. I'm sorry that you seem to take yourself and the rest of the world so seriously that you have no discernable sense of humor to speak of. I'm also sorry that you can not grasp the concept that a handicapped person could be included even tangentially in a joke about someone else without that handicapped person being the butt of the joke, nor that you can not grasp that a black person who doesn't look obviously black by most objective measurements and rarely identifies himself as such could be included in a joke about fighting a fictional monkey without that black person also being called a monkey. I like handicapped people, neoconservatives, black people and monkeys and I call many from every group friends. I'm sorry that you can't view the world without confusing several of these hominids in your blindingly righteous indignation."
There's more after that, including the intention of his going off on a Donald-like rant about how the posting of the NY Post monkey shooting cartoon was a not so veiled threat of monkeycide against James' liberal hate monkey Thade, but as I said above, James realized he could not out crazy the crazy, and whatever he wrote, Donald would no doubt top it when he responded with his next set of fucked up accusations against JBW, and all liberals (nihilists).
As if to prove my point, Donald next posts the following: American Power: James B. Webb Apologizes. That's right, Don takes what James wrote just above as a real apology to Donald, and accepts it, ending the matter... (well, after Donald gets a few last digs in, of course... Would you expect anything less?).
The post opens with Don's quotes of two e-mails he received; one from regular AmPow anonymous (though not really) commenter Gregory Koster, and the other from another of Don's "real" anonymous fans, who write him e-mails critical of contrarian posters such as myself rather than posting comments on the site, because they fear that the contrarian in question will follow them back to their own blog homes, & might actually post comments on their blogs, too.
Greg's e-mail offers some interesting insights. He rightly says that every time Donald adds to this post war saga he gives up a little of his dignity,and that he's no longer even reading these "Webb war" posts, but then he combines that with accusations that JBW is never going to stop or apologize, because his psyche won't let him. (when obviously and demonstrably, the opposite is true. JBW did stop, which was the only way to get Donald to drop this bone. According to Donald, James even apologized, too...)
This latest reader who wishes to remain anonymous because she fears repercussions, and therefore sends her comments to Dr Douglas directly, via e-mail (there have been several, before her) prefers to focus on me. In reply to the "Blacks as monkeys" comment reposted above, this anonymous e-mailer says:
"Donald:
I can't believe that Repsac3 is still sticking his nose into this thing. It looks like the others could just stay out of it, and allow you and JBW settle things between yourselves. That's the way they operate, though ... like members of a gang, ganging up on a single individual. I guess they believe in power in numbers ... several of them against you. They are the most disgusting group of men that I have ever had the displeasure of learning about ... if, indeed, they can be called 'men.' They are more like a bunch of bullying, juvenile delinquents. I've a good mind to go to another of my screen names and comment, I'm so disgusted. If I did that, I wouldn't be posting as anonymous, and they wouldn't be able to come to my blog, via yours. I'll have to give that some thought."
I attempted to comment in reply, but Donald was moderating the comments at that time, & seemingly did not approve my comment. Fortunately, I posted it elsewhere, as well:
"In reply to American Power anonymous reader #126, who, like several others, so fears that I might comment on her blog, that she routed her question through Dr Don via e-mail, but was kind enough to allow him to post it for all to see.Immoderate Monk: Open Message to American Power Anonymous Reader #126 (I have since successfully posted it to the post in question, though at this point, I must wonder whether Donald will allow it to remain posted...)
I "stuck my nose into this thing" because the thing in question was posted on a public blog, where comments and debate are welcomed, and positions are vigorously defended.
Had Donald & James been working things out in private, (perhaps via private e-mail), I certainly never would've commented about it on anyone's blog. But I believed (and still do) that the fact that both men chose to air their differences on their blogs--where, as I mentioned, comments are accepted and encouraged--allowed me (along with several other people on both blogs, not to mention other writers on their own blogs), to comment on the situation.
In fact, I'll note that in writing your e-mail to Donald and allowing him to publish it, you yourself chose to "stick your nose into this thing," as well. Perhaps Donald and I would do better if we could just settle things between ourselves without outside comment as well, but as long as we continue to vent our spleens on public blogs, where commentary is welcomed and encouraged, I trust that folks like you will continue doing the same thing with your noses that I did with mine, and for very much the same reason.
As for whether we who disagree with Dr Douglas constitute a gang, I'd say no more or less so that those folks who regularly comment in favor of Don's many posts. I trust you'll be fitting them with leather "YesMen" gang jackets any time now...
Personally, I would very much enjoy your taking the time to reply to any/all of my commentary in your own voice. You wouldn't even have to "out" yourself and risk having me follow you back to where you make your internet home and, golly forbid, comment on your blog, since Donald allows anonymous comments here. Just don't sign in (or sign out, if you get automatically signed in) and choose either "Name/URL" -- where you can put in any old thing you wish, or "anonymous" -- which is, well, anonymous, and let me have it. I would be most curious how you (or anyone) would intelligently answer my comment on that "Blacks as Monkeys?" post, because Ms Anon, I really don't see how Donald could ever think he was the "monkey" in question, given how clearly both the words and picture told a different story...
(Assuming this comment gets approved, anyway...) I thank you for your time, and look forward to reading your reply."
Judging by the other comments at Donald's "apology" post, the people on Don's site read a very different interblog debate than I did... It's kinda sad...
Theoretically, this should be the end of the photoshop saga. JBW's done, Don got his apology and the last word (unless he counts my word), so this should be done... ...but when it no doubt turns out not to be, please join me for the next thrilling installment...
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