In Reply: "Princess Boy" - "tomboy" girls vs "sissies" (and a tribute to Cassandra, once of Villainous Company)

In reply to Cassy Fiano - Would You Let Your Son Be A Princess Boy?, and in particular, to to the wise comment (#14 -- If there's a way to get the permalink of another commenter, I can't figure out how...) of Cassandra (once of Villainous Company, but sadly not blogging at her old blog, currently. While we surely didn't always agree, her decision to disconnect is a real loss to reason and nuance in political blogging, especially on the conservative side...)
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Cassandra...

Just saw that you disconnected your blog back in November (Sorry... I've been busy...) I hope you keep commenting on occasion (or better, miss blogging and reconnect your own) because there just isn't enough nuance and "thinking through" in the political blogosphere (as your 11:48 AM comment here once again shows.)

While I assume this to be a more serious internal issue than just a kid who wants to explore his feminine side -- Given the prevailing attitudes about gender roles, especially for boys (as you say), I just don't see too many boys doing this for several years straight, with the parent writing a book and going on national TV, without it being more than just exploration or a simple preference for colors and frills -- your comments about the difference between how our society treats boys vs girls as regards taking on the opposite roles is spot on, and for some, it persists into adulthood. (I'm willing to bet that every person reading this knows at least one person like POW, above, who questions the sexuality of men who work as nurses or teachers, or who knit or dance "too" well. And unfortunately, too many of us let them get away with it, unchallenged -- I've let it go unquestioned, myself.)

I hope you're right, and this is just a story about a kid who's willing to explore his feminine side, and not a boy who believes he should've been born a girl, like the ones in the Atlantic article I linked to in my first comment. While both circumstances require some deft parenting, most of 'em don't grow out of gender dysmorphia, and it has to be resolved, one way, or another...
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Comment submitted with website in header. Zilch.

Added the following postscript, and submitted again, without the blogspot address:
(Seems my comments don't post if I include my blog address in the "Website" header field... Is that a bug or a feature? -- Guessing some might think it the latter... 8>)

Posted: January 5, 2011 • 2:43 pm (comment #17)

In Reply: "Princess Boy" - The issue is a bit more complex than that, isn't it?

In reply to: Cassy Fiano - Would You Let Your Son Be A Princess Boy?, and (obviously) Robert and Cassie's comments, in particular. (Cassy's post also appears here: Would You Let Your Son Be A Princess Boy? | NewsReal Blog):
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As I said at another post on the subject: American Niiiiihilist: Donald Douglas' Fear of "Feminization" Revisited (and as Cassy and Robert both kinda said here), the issue is often more complex than just forcing the kid to dress and act a certain way, whether it be according to body features or the gender the child is reaching toward. For those interested, there was a great Atlantic article from Nov. 2008 that discussed the issue in much greater depth: A Boy's Life - Magazine - The Atlantic

I don't know that there is any one right answer, but I'm hard pressed to condemn the actions of too many parents dealing with kids like this, no matter what way they choose to address it. While I'm sure there are a few exceptions on both sides, most parents are doing the best they can to help their children through it, whether by demanding strict adherence to gender roles or by allowing the child to dictate who they are (within reason, of course.) I can't imagine how difficult it must be...
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Submitted for posting (Is Cassy's blog moderated? I didn't notice where it said so, but my comment didn't post...) 1/4/11, 5:50 PM ("What'd I Say" blog time)
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Resubmitted (and moderated, I believe -- It shows up on the site as comment 12, but in italics... I'll let you know...) January 5, 2011 • 7:40 am (comment #12)

How people view you depends on how you react when a political opponent suffers

In reply to: Cassy Fiano - BREAKING: Senator Robert Byrd dead at 92; conservative blogosphere reacts, and in particular this comment (#3), from Morgan K Freeberg, who says:

I’m sure you realize that if a reader works hard enough, throwing Sen. Byrd’s ancient words into his face could be construed as “mean spirited.” By “could be,” of course, what I really mean is it’s definitely gonna happen.

So just for sake of contrast: You’ll recall former Vice President Dick Cheney was “complaining of discomfort.” Apologies in advance for comparing you to them, Cassy, but here’s the FARK thread where the witty-edgy-college-dorm-set reacts to the news.

Personally, I think the back-and-forth arguments over which side has a monopoly on wonderful-decent-people, and which side is bogged down with slimy awful terrible sleazebag people, is a stupid distraction; decent wonderful people come up with stupid ideas all the time. But the biased editorializing fascinates me, and the minute someone conservative says something less than flattering about Sen. Byrd I know I’m going to be buried in the coverage of it whether I wish it or not. So it’s a productive exercise to skim through the “progressive” comments about Cheney, to maintain a sense of perspective.

Regarding Byrd, best wishes to his family. And the harshest thing I’ll say about him is, since he was known to have so much concern over how much dignity or discredit was being brought to the Senate by this-or-that thing, retiring at about age 80 might’ve been a good move for him. Rest in peace.
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Another way of looking it it, Morgan, is that there are both classy people and assholes all along the political spectrum. Perhaps whether people see you personally as classy or as an asshole isn't a function of where your politics lie, but what you do and say when a person with whom you disagree politically suffers or dies. One thing that I'm sure of, is this "team" mentality (We're all "wonderful decent people," and they're all "slimy awful terrible sleazebag people") isn't serving anyone well. Both kinds of people (and everything in between) appear in both camps. If we was smarter, we'd attack the individuals who misbehave, rather than pretending that the worst among 'em represent all of "them," and the best among us represent all of "us." It's useless fiction.

I take issue with those who're attacking Senator Byrd before the body is cold not because they're conservatives, but because they're nasty people who're doing something I find kinda distasteful and inhumane to the people who loved the guy. I feel the same about your "FARK on Cheney" folks, too... Anyone who can't wait until after the mourners have left the gravesite before ripping into the memory of the deceased is kinda goulish, in my humble... YMMV...
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I don't know whether or not Cassy Fiano moderates her blog, but hitting "submit" made my comment disappear, and so far, it remains unpublished...